Failures, Achievements and Legacies

I am sitting here, when I should be sleeping, staring at a computer screen.   My mind is reeling with many different thoughts and ideas that I am grasping at and trying to put into print.  I just spent my evening in discussion with a bunch of amazing ladies.  One of the topics we discussed was the thought of “I’m not where I thought I would be.”

There were seven other ladies sitting in a circle around me, some old friends, some meeting for the first time.  Each one of them brought something unique and powerful to the room.

When the discussion came up of “I’m not where I thought I would be….” each one of us has our own story we could share.  Some having already walked through that personal disappointment what we should have accomplished by a time set by ourselves  and coming out on the other side, some in the midst of that struggle and some already being able to predict their next “I’m not.”   I had such joy sitting there hearing these women talk so openly about their lives.   Hearing them acknowledge that it’s all in God’s timing and that despite our best efforts, He is in control.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  – Ecclesiastes 3:11

As we were discussing our own perceived “failures” my mind started to wander to a few months earlier…

This past summer the kids and I were visiting the cemetery where my grandparents are buried.   As we stood and looked at their headstone, many memories came flooding to my mind.  Those of my own and those my family members and their loved ones shared about both of them.    Memories of time spent together, memories of my grandparents, memories of them as parents, as siblings, as an aunt and uncle and as friends.

We continued on in the cemetery seeking to find more of my ancestors.  Just up the hill to the East my great grandparents and great, great grandparents are buried.  As we were walking up the hill, I was looking at all the other headstones trying to learn something about the other people laid to rest there.   These past few years since my grandparents have died, I have tried to pay more attention to the past.  The connections I make to the past and to my heritage bring me great comfort.

Something struck me as we neared the burial location of my ancestors…after looking at all those headstones, I didn’t really learn much about the people buried there.  I learned their name, their date of birth and date of death, and a little about their relationships.   Although they were most likely there, I was not made aware of nor did I see any wealthy people, I did not see any college graduates or great athletes, I did not see any world travelers, I did not see any political parties.

My mind kept processing the further we went and the more headstones I saw.  I also did not see any failures, I did not see anyone struggling with their weight, I did not see any victims, I did not see any “I’m not where I thought I would be.”

What did I see?  I saw relationships.  I saw the value of love.  I saw the value of one another.

On those headstones that day, what I did learn was their were a lot of mothers and a lot of fathers.   I saw a lot of daughters and a lot of sons.  I saw a lot of wives and a lot of husbands.   I saw a lot of sisters and a lot of brothers.

That’s when I realized the significance of one of our greatest calls in life.   Someday it will be our relationships with others that will be our legacy.   Our life is not defined by our failures or achievements, our legacy will be through those of whom we impacted while we were here.

Love one another as I have loved you.  John 15:12

In years to come when someone is visiting your gravestone what will they remember?   What will it say?  It most likely will not be of your successes, your failures or your struggles of today, but of your relationships with others.  People will remember how you treated them, they will remember how you served them and how you loved them.  This my friends, is what your legacy will be.   Let’s all remember that call and strive to leave a legacy of loving others.

For myself, I have realized the struggles of my own perception and that it is my faith that will carry me forward.

I will continue to strive towards my call to build relationships and while I am pressing on, this I do know:

I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a sister, I am a daughter, I am a friend.  Most importantly, I am a believer.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Philippians 2:4

Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor 1 Corinthians 10:24